Oh Christmas Tree.....

Today, I looked around at the beautifully lighted and decorated Christmas trees in the house, and the presents that surrounded them; the stockings that hung on an actual fireplace, a train around the tree. Although it was a beautiful sight I found my thoughts going back to another tree from a Christmas long ago.

I remember the first Christmas tree Kelly and I ever bought. We'd been married about a year and a half and lived in a little apartment. We drove a car almost as old as ourselves, and brought in just enough money to cover our small rent, and a few other necessities. We had this great couch that was purchased from a thrift store that sat proudly in the center of our living room. When you sat in (notice I said in, not on) this couch your knees quickly found your shoulders as the rest of you was gobbled up by the weakened springs. We would let our guests sit on the couch and we would sit on the floor. I'm sure they thought that we were being polite as that was the only piece of furniture in the room, but secretly we had a plan. You see, with the unique design of the couch, things in pockets just had a tendency to fall out and disappear. Once every other week or so we would tip over the couch and find all the spare change that was left. .53 cents could get us a root beer float to share from the little shop down the street, and on a particularly generous week we had $1.06 for two!

Before you feel too sorry for us, let me tell you that those were great memories. Kelly and I reflect back often on how happiness truly can come in humble circumstances. That Christmas we decided to splurge on a tree, a real tree. A week or so before Christmas we went to a lot and found a beautiful tree, it was tall and shaped perfectly as long as you looked at just the right place; we found it in a discounted area for a steal!! We came home and turned the side that had a big concave hole and no branches to the back and decorated the rest with inexpensive ornaments that were donated or homemade. Sure it leaned a bit precariously to one side, but it was ours, and we were proud of it. The next day we went to church and when we returned home I remember seeing the big beautiful tree in a heap on the floor. It had tipped over and broken glass and lights littered the carpet. Kelly, the ever inventive man I married, did not despair but got out his trusty tool kit and drilled a screw into the ceiling and wrapped wire around the top of the tree and then to the screw. A little unorthodox but we were back in business.

Today as I thought back to the lopsided, disfigured tree tied into a screw in our ceiling, it brought a smile. We weren't able to afford anything under the tree that year, just a few things in our stockings which were stapled to the wall, but it was a sight to behold and a memory I'll always cherish.

I love Christmas and over the years I have collected quite a bit of decorations. We have two big artificial pre-lit trees with beautiful and shiny ornaments that drip from the branches. The trees shine in prominent places that can be seen from windows and fill up a room. They stand straight and tall and if there is a hole to be found it can quickly be repaired by bending the wire branches. Perfection is guaranteed. Although they are truly beautiful and color coordinated, something is missing in the translation. Sometimes I long for the simpler times when happiness could be found in a leaning tower of Christmas tree, a dreary wall brightened by stockings and a couch that brought us such blessings. I am realizing that imperfect situations can indeed create perfect memories.

Merry Christmas!!

Happy 17th Birthday Ryan!!

This past week on the 16th Ryan turned 17. I always say this but I truly don't know where the time has gone. It is flying by like some supersonic jet and I want it to go as slow as a turtle. It truly is frightening how fast the years disappear.

Ryan is such an incredible person. Forgive me while I brag for a bit. As his mother I'm entitled to I think. :) He has such a strong spirit and testimony. I love it when I see the light on in his room late and go to check on him and he is reading his scriptures. He has a great understanding of them and can quote so many of them at random. He also works hard on his classes and has a great love of the sciences. When he gets talking about Chemistry, Physics and Calculus my eyes just glaze over. I would be intimidated on how much he knows if I wasn't used to this by now. I remember when he was 5 I went into the bathroom and found the sink full of rocks and filled with water. I wasn't too concerned but was puzzled. I went to find Ryan and he told me he learned about water erosion on TV (Bill Nye the Science Guy) and wanted to do his own experiment. I told him we didn't have a hundred years to wait to see results but maybe we could move it outside. Then there was the time he wanted to test cold water on hot light bulbs and I think you can imagine the results.

My favorite thing about Ryan is his kind heart. You look at the size of him and think that he is big and tough. Well he is on the outside (just ask Kelly if he can still take him down) but he has a compassionate heart. He senses when I'm troubled and always asks what he can do. When he goes to stake dances he looks for girls who are standing alone and asks them to dance. He is kind and giving with his friends. Cassidy knows that he can't stand it when she cries and will come to her rescue....unless he is the one bugging her to tears. :) (Although Cassie gets her time to get even him as noted in the picture below. She likes to decorate him on his birthday and he humors her.)

Ryan chose to spend the afternoon of his birthday doing service. He went out with the missionaries on short notice when they needed a driver and they found an investigator to teach! He also met with someone from Key Club to shop for a child from the schools angel tree. When he got home we had take out Thai food, his favorite and banana cream pie. He received a new suit which he is modeling below, a sweatshirt and a shirt and tie. I hope this is the last suit I have to buy him before his mission.



Ryan I love you so much! I'm glad I have the privilege to be your mother. Thank you for all you do and for who you are. Happy Birthday.

The first two weeks of December...

I'm behind!! It's been a busy couple of weeks and now I'm just taking the time to upload photo's of the last little while. It has been an exciting month here so far-- as I'm sure most families would admit to. First at the beginning of December, Ryan went to the Preference dance at the high school. It was girls choice and his wonderful friend Keslee asked him. She is a sweetheart and so fun to be around. I want to clarify that Kelly took the picture when she came to pick him up. Only a man would take a head shot and not get the dress in!! :) We will have to train him before Cassie goes to Prom. When they get back their official pictures I will include a full one of them, Keslee had a beautiful dress. (As a side note, I did tell Kelly to take the pictures and wasn't specific as to what I wanted.)



Next came Cassidy and Mark's piano recital. Kelly's niece Krista is their teacher and she does a great job, especially when I can get them to practice!! Despite the earlier frustration of trying to convince Mark to practice, he came through beautifully and played his pieces very well. He played Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer and Jingle Bells. Beautiful Cassidy did very well also, she was frustrated when she had a small fumble on one of the songs because she played it perfectly right before we left. I was so proud she just kept right on going and on her second one she played it perfectly. She played Joy to the World and Silent Night. Way to not get frazzled Cass and keep going! Krista also played a beautiful piece. She is so talented and I could listen to her play all day. We are so grateful for her dedication and hard work with Cassidy and Mark.


The next week brought Cassidy's ballroom dance recital. They had a fun time and performed a Tango, Samba and a Jitterbug. I love how she always has a smile on her face and loves to perform. I am looking forward to the Spring season when they get to compete. They have been working hard.

Josh had a wonderful choir concert also to which I forgot to bring my camera!! I think I could lose my mother's license for that one. He is so handsome and looked grown up in his tux and the music was beautiful. He works hard in choir and enjoys singing especially now that he is a bass instead of tenor. :)

my sister is an author!!

You need to check out my sister Rachael's book!! I highly recommend it. She writes very witty dialogue that is full of humor and fun. I am putting a link to her blog so you can read about her book!
http://www.rachaelreneeanderson.com/

I'm nearly famous now!! :)

My Christmas Poem

Farewell To My Waistline
(pretend I have one!)
by yours truly

Tis the season to be merry and jolly
For most that means lights, trees and holly.

For me the best part of this time of year,
the thing that brings me the most holiday cheer--

Isn’t found in a stocking or under the Christmas tree;
but is something that tastes good and fills up my tummy.

It can be frosted, sugared or covered in chocolate
Candy coated, glazed, sprinkled and dolloped.

I love every cookie, homemade candy and fudge
and accept it gracefully without even a grudge.

There is so many sweets and not enough time
and if you don’t try everything it’s considered a crime!

For to refuse the heartfelt edible gifts of the season,
would really be considered an act of treason!

The real gift of Christmas that I wish would be given;
is simply that calories not stick to my middle region.

But alas I have yet to receive that type of present
so I must accept the consequences and just be content.

Hence, I’m bidding farewell to my waistline until,
January arrives and I take off the garland that camouflages my treadmill.

When the new year comes and I dare dust off the scale
and realize that indeed the calories did prevail.

But until that time I will enjoy each and every chocolate
and not think of what it is doing to my increasing silhouette.

let it snow....

I love the first snowstorm of the year. It makes everything look so white and beautiful. Dead grass and shrubs always look better under a coat of shimmering white! Of course, I can say let it snow as long as I get to look out my window at the white wonderland outside while listening to Christmas music, sitting in front of my fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate!

It was fun to see my two younger children so excited for the snow. Mark was in such a hurry to go out the door that he put on two left boots, mismatched gloves and a snow hat inside out. I apologize for not getting a picture, but it was a bit rushed this morning convincing them they actually had to go to school, and that hopefully more snow would be here this afternoon by the time they got home.

I sat on Cassidy's bed last night with her and read a fairy story from a book she had. It took a little over an hour and I had a great time. I got thinking how long it had been since I curled up beside her and read to her. She kept saying, "thank you mom for reading that, it was fun." It made me realize that my children don't always need grand plans or gestures all the time. Some of the best times can just be spontaneous with no money involved, just an investment of time. You'd think in my old age I would have had that realization a long time ago, but I guess I'm a slow learner.

lost in translation...

I am learning that what you say to your children doesn't always get interpreted the right way. Some things I've grown to expect are the following"

Clean your room translates to sleep in your room

Do the dishes translates to throwing everything on the sink and turning out the kitchen light.

Don't eat before dinner somehow becomes, grab the cookies and make a mad dash to somewhere other than the kitchen.

Today was yet another example of how children process information. Mark had a doctors appointment to look at two stubborn warts on his hand and the bottom of his foot. We have spent the last couple months trying every over the counter remedy known to man with no luck. We knew he was really worried about the possibilities of seeing a doctor and what that would require. Thinking of somehow comforting him I told him that the worse thing that could happen would be he would get a shot. My thinking was he has had shots, he has survived shots and knowing he has had shots would somehow make the whole doctors office experience easier. I knew once he had the shot it didn't matter what else would happen because he wouldn't feel it. He seemed to accept my words of wisdom and go on.

At the doctor's office they announced that they had to remove his little warts. Mark remained calm until they said that they were going to give him a couple shots to numb the area. He started freaking out saying...Mom said that shots would be THE WORST THING in the world (not sure where he got the in the world idea) and he didn't think he'd survive. When the shot part was over, he said to me on the way home, "Mom you were wrong, shots aren't the worst thing, it only hurt for a second, next time don't scare me."

battle of wills....

Lots of important battles have been won and lost throughout the ages. Some have been won through strategy, some by strength and some even by treachery. We have had a battle waging here for the last few months called the battle of wills. Typically this battle wages during the terrible two's and then reemerges during the teenage years. However, my 8 year old is proving it can be fought at anyplace, anytime and anywhere. Today the battleground happened to be the piano. That's right, the piano. How 20 minutes of practice time on Christmas songs for an upcoming recital can turn into an hour and a half battle of wills is anyone's guess.

With Mark the way he accomplishes anything is when he decides it's his idea in the first place. He can't be forced, coerced, reasoned with or even positively encouraged (bribed by grandma). Today I refused to engage in battle and that made him quite upset. It's one thing when you want things your way. It's another when someone won't let you have your way and it's a downright crime when that same someone won't argue with you about why you can't have your way. All I know is I'm secretly getting ready to wave the white flag of surrender.

I have tried everything. I have carefully explained expectations ahead of time, made cute charts and graphs complete with stickers. I have praised good progress. I have given him choices and consequences and nothing works. This is of course after I have tried the before mentioned coercion, reasoning, forcing and bribing (shh..I mean positive reinforcement).

Part of me is trying to look at this from a positive perspective. This stubborn streak he has can be a good thing if he chooses to not compromise with his standards and beliefs as he grows up. But right now choosing not to practice, clean his room, read or do homework (especially spelling) is what we are facing.

I am open to ideas. If you would like to write a best selling book or get a doctorate degree in conquering the battle of wills, I would happily lend you my son for research. Seriously, it would be so much easier if he wasn't so cute and I didn't love him so much. He was trying evasive maneuvers as he left the house to go to school this morning and I had to snag him in a huge bear hug whispering "I love you" in his ear. I don't think it made a dent in his protective armor, but I have to at least attempt to send him off knowing that even though the battle will continue later, I will love him before, during and after.

Now I'm exhausted. I need chocolate and a bubble bath, but I'll have to settle for the vacuum and the laundry.

Super Dad!

Kelly has put in a full day today with the kids. He took all the boys to the BYU football game today. (Thanks to my sister and brother in law for the tickets!) It was the first time Mark's been to the stadium and he loved it. I was afraid he would get cold or bored and want to come home, but he had a blast. He got to meet Cosmo and drink hot chocolate and when he got home he gave me a play by play of the game. He really understands football and it was fun to hear him tell me all about it (and show me as he acted out some plays). He wants to go again next week!

As soon as they got home from the game, Kelly took Cass out on a Daddy Daughter date to the play Guys and Dolls at Mountain View High School. Our neighbor and friend is the director and his son is in the Young Men's with Kelly. The plays are always great and it's fun to see them every year. Kelly and Cass are there now and probably having a fun time. I know Kelly is tired, but I appreciate all he does to make fun memories with the kids, especially after a hard week doing everything while I was away. We are so lucky to have him in our lives. I love you Kel, thanks for being Super Dad today and everyday.

She's Back!!

I don't think I will be saying I wish for time to myself for awhile. :) It's been a long week. I'm so grateful to Kelly and the kids who did remarkable here without me. I came home to a very clean organized house. Even the laundry got done!! I would say I should go away more often but sitting at the table with my family for dinner tonight is something I want to do daily for a long time to come.

I appreciate my parents so much for letting me stay there. They made things so comfortable for me. I could hear my mom upstairs working on her many busy responsibilities (i.e. cooking a big dinner for 100 alone!), and it was so frustrating not to be able to help! I found that the best thing I could do not to feel guilty was to use my time alone to the best of my ability and I felt like I accomplished some good things during my time in isolation.

Although it is great to have chocolate again, it is far better to be home with my wonderful family. It is amazing the simple things I take for granted every day. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to reflect on all the little things that make my life so complete and how wonderful it is to be back!

a "glowing" report

Well soon I'm off to the hospital to get my dose of radioactive iodine. I really find it appropriate that it is happening on Friday the 13th! I have learned several things about myself since starting this wonderful (read sarcasm into that word!) low iodine diet I've been on.

1) Something is not right in a world without chocolate.

2) When I'm told I can't eat something it makes me crave it all the more! I'm not sure what that says about my self discipline.

3) I am grumpy when I can't eat what I want.

4) I took flavor for granted. I am looking forward to salad dressing, seasoning, gravy, sauces....I am getting hungry right now, I'd better stop! :)

5) I dream of Becky's warm chocolate chip cookies and milk!.....ok enough food talk, my mind is really wandering this morning!

Most of all I have learned to appreciate science. I am so grateful that there are treatments out there that can make me better so I can appreciate all the wonderful things in life (especially chocolate) for a long time to come. I am doing really well and will be thinking of all sorts of fun things I can write about while I am in seclusion without a computer for the next week or so. Thanks again for everyone's prayers, love and support. You can all find others to help now, because I am great.

Family Pictures 2009

This past weekend, a couple of my sisters families and us headed to a nearby park to get some family pictures. Kelly has a great camera and proved that his photography skills are far better than mine. I like to hurry and point and shoot. My pictures are blurry and off kilter, occasionally missing key things, such as parts of people's faces. Maybe one day someone might appreciate my efforts as some abstract art form but for now when shooting family portraits I'd best leave them to Kelly and his precision. :)

Impressions

I often post the silly and the trivial on this site. A lot of it is because I enjoy writing, even though I don't have any deep talent for it and the lighthearted is easier to express than the serious. It is also more forgiving and you don't have to be as honest and vulnerable. I have a wonderful friend who posted a personal poem on her blog that touched me deeply and I wanted to take a minute and write my feelings that this topic brought to mind. Feelings about those who I love the most and as such, those who I can hurt the most with what I say.

To Ryan, my oldest child, although he left the child stage long ago. I am so in awe of you. Your talents and strengths and abilities far surpass mine at such a young age and in many cases even now. You have never acted your age, always years beyond. I come down hard on you so many times because I forget your youth and treat you as an adult when you are striving so hard to become one. I love your scientific mind that absorbs facts like a sponge. I am proud of you and your dedication and hard work in school, with your friends, work and all you do. You will go so far in this life and in the one to come and I need to be better at telling you all the good you do. I love how close you are to your Heavenly Father and your Savior. You are such an example to me and your family. You come across so tough and yet have a tender side that finds such compassion in others.

To Josh, my ever increasing in stature child who lights up my life. I love your sense of humor and how you can make me laugh with just a look or a word. Sometimes I treat life too seriously and you have a way of bringing joy to moments that are too intense. You have the ability to change my perspective instantly. You have so many talents and I admire your engineering mind and the ability you have to make things work and figure things out. You are like your grandpa that way. I love how at ease you are in social situations and the great friends you make at every turn. You have a gift of service and reach out to so many around you without ever being asked. Thank you for having a heart as big as your shoe size.

To Cassie, my sweet and only girl. I love your smile. You can melt hearts with it. I love your talents with younger children, how you reach out to them and entertain them for hours with your time. You make them feel important and I love it when all the little children in the neighborhood, and your little cousins look to you for attention and you give it to them so willingly. I love the girl times we share, I love to shop, do nails and girl talk time with you. You have great leadership talent and I look forward to seeing what good things you can accomplish in your life by your example to those around you. Thank you for being a reminder of how sensitive and fragile feelings can be and teaching me to be aware of what I say and do.

To Mark, my baby and one who keeps growing up despite all my efforts to the contrary. I love your hugs and "love you mom's" They are given so freely and I never want to take them for granted because all to soon, they won't be as available. I love how your face lights up when I come into your classroom at school. I love how you've always been at the stage when mom's are cool and I hope that never changes. You have such an analytical mind and can find order in chaos. You get that from your wonderful father. I even appreciate the stubborn streak you are developing as you search to find your own way in our family. I want you to stay stubborn and unmoved in the good things in this life and no one will be able to sway you. Thank you for always needing me to tuck you in at night.

I have four incredible children and so often as a mom I use my words harshly and quickly. I think wonderful things about these great spirits entrusted to me, but as I reflect on what comes out of my mouth, the negatives often out numbers the positive. In my every seeking quest to teach and improve, I come across cutting and reproving too many times. I am learning that moms have the greatest influence not only to uplift but to tear down and how fragile and nurturing is a child's self worth. My precious children are my greatest treasure and yet so many times I forget to show them. I am working so hard to change this and wanted to take a minute to briefly state and focus on the things I love so much about each of them. I find I brag about them to others more often than I do to them personally.

I am humbled as my calling as a mother, and although I'm constantly in training and ever failing I am grateful that every day I get another chance to be the mother that they deserve. They are my best champions and forgive me so easily. I love them all so much.

Help I need some modivation....

I wonder...

if I suspended a doughnut in front of my treadmill would I walk faster?

if I think positively about exercise, could my mind burn calories?

if surviving teenagers could be classified as a cardio activity.

if chewing cookies instead of inhaling them cancels out the caloric intake?

what would happen if celery tasted like chocolate?

if jackets and other camouflage clothing were invented for this season for a reason?

if a body automatically stores food to build up insulation for the winter?

why bears aren't thin if they hibernate all winter long?

if I spent as much time exercising as I do writing, would I lose weight?

Good News for the Future

Way too many posts lately have been about me! Enough of that! Ryan went to the Sadie Hawkins Dance last Saturday. They had a great group and had a lot of fun. When he got home that night, he told me about all that they had done and one story, in particular, touched me and I wanted to take the time to record it. So many times, we hear about negative events happening around us. We constantly worry about what the future will bring for our families and if our children will be strong enough to deal with what will surround them.

Saturday night the American Fork Marching Band was heading home by bus from an Idaho competition. As I'm sure many of you have heard, one of the buses flipped and there was a fatality and some injuries. News of the accident spread throughout the Pleasant Grove High School dance on Saturday. When Ryan's group heard, they all gathered together and went outside to find a quiet spot to pray for those who were involved in the accident. Little did Ryan know that his cousin was on that bus which flipped, and was fortunate to end up with just bumps and bruises. I was so impressed with Ryan's group and with one of the young women in his group that made the suggestion. I am grateful to know my son has such incredible friends and examples around him and that when something frightening happens, their first instinct is to turn to prayer. I know there might be uncertain times ahead, and sometimes the only stories which get published are about all the evil and negative things in the world. I wanted to take a minute to write about something positive which will never make the news, but which gives me hope that in unsettling times, the young women and men of today are not only prepared to weather the storms but to triumph over them.

WOW!

I am so spoiled! I have had so many people who have sent beautiful flowers, chocolate (totally love that!) dinners, notes, books, gift baskets.....and the list could go on and on. With the exception of the scar and stitches across my neck I would feel like I've been on vacation or that it's Christmas in October. I have not had to cook, clean, or do anything responsible for days (although on my pain meds I doubt I had the ability to do anything responsible anyway!) Kelly has been pampering me and taking care of everything. I love him so much, and couldn't go through this without him. Thanks to my wonderful sisters and cousin, who have brought meals in. I am enjoying the beautiful flower arrangements which brighten my mood everytime I look at them. I am truly overwhelmed and feel very inadequate to receive all this attention. I have been very selfish and on the receiving end of so much lately.

I am doing extremely well. My recovery has gone seamlessly and with the exception of when I glance in the mirror, I sometimes forget I had surgery just a few days ago. I still wish I had all of my energy back, but I am not on any painkillers and am so grateful for that. I go back to my surgeon on Thursday and get the stitches removed and the results of the pathology report. Then it will be meeting with a nuclear medicine doctor and scheduling my radiation. I am so grateful that even though this cancer has spread a bit, it still has an extremely good prognosis. Once I'm done being radioactive, and get my hormone levels regulated, I hope to just have to think about my cancer once a year during routine checkups. I am so fortunate.

So once again, thank all of you for everything! I pray one day I'll be able to return even a small portion of what I've been given.

Valorie's surgery is over. She is tired but recovering overnight at the hospital. She did well with the surgery. It looks like the tumor was malignant and has spread to some of the lymphnodes. Some nodes were removed during the surgery. She will need to have additional therapy to treat the spread. The doctor indicates that the prognosis is still good and is very curable. We are fortunate that she is doing well. Kelly

Gratitude

I am going to be heading out the door in a few minutes to go to the hospital for my surgery. I just wanted to take a few moments and say thank you. I was making a list of those I am going to send thank you cards to, and the list is over a page long. I have tears in my eyes, but they aren't from worry about today, they are truly tears of gratitude. I have so many incredible friends and family who have been there for me the past few weeks. Every time I seemed to struggle I would get a phone call, text or email from someone. The last few days have been the most stressful, and I can't tell you how much I have appreciated everyone who remembered that my surgery was coming and have called, dropped things off, sent me things in the mail or prayed for me and my family. I have felt the weight of this little speed bump in my life lifted so much. I have such a feeling of peace today and I know it is coming from my Heavenly Father, and all those who have prayed for me. I truly am so blessed and in awe of all that I have been given. I am so undeserving of all of these wonderful blessings, and yet so grateful. Thank you all again.

I will have Kelly post later today about the surgery and how things went.

What to blame?

Who or what can I lay blame to for losing my mind? I am not sure if it is because I have teenagers and they destroy brain cells, if it's old age, lack of sleep or it's just built into my genetic code but one thing is for sure, my mind is abandoning me at an every increasing pace. Here are just a few things I've been noticing:

I put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge (I only used to do this when I was pregnant, and no this isn't an announcement)

I drive on auto pilot and if I'm not concentrating on my destination, I will either end up in a school or Walmart parking lot. Not great if you are late for a doctor's appointment in Provo.

I have a purpose to go into a a certain room in my house and yet when I get there I have no idea why I am there to begin with.

One time I locked myself out of the house and had to call one of my children for the garage code.

And today, the newest item I can add to my list is that I shipped a package to myself. It was supposed to go to my sister in Las Vegas and instead I put her address as the return one and sent it to me. It arrived today! The sad part in this whole story is that I didn't realize it was the same package I had mailed until I opened it to see the contents!

If anyone has a solution to my situation, I am open to it. All of you are so on top of everything you should be able to give me lots of advice. Unfortunately I might forget it once you say it especially if I'm sitting in a Walmart parking lot.

Soccer Season

Well the 2009 season of soccer is finished. Mark and Cassidy both played and had a great time. I enjoyed watching them each play. Mark's team was so cute to see. What they didn't have in skill they made up for in enthusiasm. My favorite game was when they were playing a really good team that kept scoring on them. It was like 15-0. Towards the end of the game Mark's team finally had a score on the board....it just happened to have been made by an opposing team member when he got confused which goal was his. Mark's team didn't care how it got scored, they cheered, gave each other high fives; you would have thought they won a championship. Every time I see a picture of him playing soccer, I will remember that game, and the joy that came not from winning, but just in playing the game. (These pictures were great action shots taken by Kelly)

Cassidy had a great year. Their team made it all the way through the championships and lost in a tie breaker taking second place. They worked hard all throughout the season and also had trouble scoring. They were great at defense, but had trouble getting that ball into the net. They practiced each week for three hours and didn't give up. They finally found their stride as the playoffs started. She was so fun to watch, she never missed a practice and played hard in each game. Way to go Cass!! She even put up with her mom running down the sideline cheering like a maniac. Unfortunately we had technical difficulties on her game pictures, they were erased from the camera before they were uploaded. I will post her team one when we get it.

When life throws you a curve ball don't forget to duck!

Two weeks ago yesterday, I was decorating my house for fall, enjoying the routine of my children being back in school and thinking that everything was good. I happened to have a routine lab appointment for annual blood tests to check thyroid levels. The appointment was inadvertently booked with the doctor instead of just the lab tech. My doctor found a nodule on my thyroid, and sent me in for an ultrasound. A week later I was having needle biopsies on the three nodules the ultrasound found and on Tuesday night I received a phone call from my doctor with the diagnosis of thyroid cancer.

Talk about a whirlwind couple of weeks. Every step along the way I was reassured that the vast majority of these nodules are benign (90%) and that I had no risk factors for this type of cancer--so I was unprepared for the words the doctor spoke to me over the phone. All I heard was cancer and every other logical thought disappeared.

I had done some reading previously and I was aware of the stats on this type of cancer. I read it was highly curable, slow growing and if you had to have cancer, this wasn't a bad one to have. I have several friends who have been through this and I knew that years out from it they were fine and healthy. I also realized that there were so many people facing life threatening and crisis situations and compared to their struggles this was really insignificant. However, at that moment, sitting on the floor of my closet with the phone in my hand sobbing, the logical side of my brain was being left in the dust as the emotional side took over at breakneck speed. I was so sure this would be nothing... so sure in fact that I had not told my children of the earlier tests.

Kelly came home quickly and found me in my closet seclusion and held me while I cried over and over, "this was supposed to be nothing!" We had to quickly regroup because Mark's first pack meeting was in an hour and he was receiving an award, and Josh's court of honor followed that. After a quick but heart felt prayer, the miracle of make up and the comforting hand of my husband we were out the door and off to the church. An hour and a half later we held a family meeting and told the kids, reassuring them that despite the emotion, this was going to be fine. The tears were not proof of something terrible, but just surprise and concern. We knelt together as a family and Ryan gave an incredibly profound and moving prayer that I will always remember. A feeling of peace filled the room, and evidence of my many blessings began to fill my mind which evidence has only increased in the last few days.

I made a call to my sisters house to see if her husband could assist Kelly in giving me a blessing and before she even answered the phone, he saw our name on the caller ID and walked out the door, knowing the purpose of the call. How grateful I am for the priesthood and for those who honor it and can humbly and worthily step in to speak for God on this earth.

Another call went to Kelly's brother who is a doctor and one of the most compassionate people I know. He answered my questions, put up with my tears and got me an appointment with a ENT oncologist that is an expert in this area. The doctor had a cancellation and I was able to meet with him yesterday. He was so encouraging and immediately I knew I was in the best hands. He will be able to see me through everything and do my follow up visits for years to come. Having that continuity of care is such a relief to Kelly and I. The surgery to remove my thyroid and possibly lymph nodes is set for October 8th and is a relatively low risk surgery. I will only be in the hospital overnight. As for what is next, that will be determined after the surgery and what they find in the lymph nodes...regardless of what that result is, I will be fine.

I have felt the prayers that have been offered on my behalf. What else could explain the hysterics I found myself in two days ago and the peace I feel now. There is no other explanation. I know my Father in Heaven is not only aware of what is going on in my life but has sent a spirit of comfort to my heart, my mind and my home. I have seen His hand in so many ways the last couple of weeks, I am overwhelmed. The tears that fall now are more often than not, tears of gratitude. What a blessing it is to feel gratitude and peace and not sorrow and fear. These peaceful feelings are not coming because I am strong or from anything I do, they are coming from a loving Heavenly Father and an empathetic Savior.

Please forgive the personal post. This is my journal in a lot of ways, and I wanted to put down my feelings. I in no way want to make this seem more significant than it is. So many people deal with incredible things and I know I am fortunate. I wanted to record what has gone on over the past couple weeks so I will always remember that peace can come during trying situations.

Scouts

Tuesday night was a night full of scouting. Mark is now a cub scout and had his first pack meeting where he received his Bobcat award. I don't know that there was ever a boy so excited as he was. He looked so grown up in his uniform and I was proud to have yet another mother's pin on my ribbon. I am getting quite a collection!


Josh had a Court of Honor also on Tuesday night. He received 8 more merit badges. Earning his silver palm. I am glad he continues to work hard on merit badges even though he has received his Eagle. He wants to earn all 120 before he is 18 and if he puts his mind to something it typically happens.

The Hostage Negotiation

I have had one of those days recently when I feel part mom and part hostage negotiator. Last Friday Mark notices his new birthday toy in Cassie's bedroom and automatically jumps to the conclusion that she has stolen it. Soon the accusations begin and the words liar and thief echo down the hall. The door slams and severe pounding on the door occurs. Instead of giving the toy back to Mark and saying she didn't know how it got in her room, she takes offense at name calling and unjust accusations and shuts the door, promptly taking the toy hostage. Well Mark with growing certainty that this action is proof of guilt, decides to take matters into his own hands and begins to push open and insert his foot into the door to gain entry. Upon reaching the scene, I somewhat calmly asked Cass to return the toy at which point she remarks that I never take her side and dissolves in tears. She promptly thows the toy out into the hall, breaking it and slams the door to illustrate the injustice of the whole situation. Now I have two children in hysterics, one broken toy and a "how do I handle this situation" expression on my face.

They don't teach hostage negotiations in parenting classes. My only previous experience is with the laundry when it takes over the laundry room....usually I have more sucess in that arena; no emotions are involved and usually the only casualties are a few missing socks!

A Wonderful Day!

Yesterday my baby was baptized. Where have the last eight years gone? Moments like this remind me how precious life is and how quickly time passes. I just want it all to come to a screeching halt, but it isn't to be.


It was such a special day yesterday. Mark had asked Ryan to baptize him, and when I saw them both dressed in white I got tears in my eyes. Mark said the prayer before we left for the church and asked Heavenly Father to help Ryan remember the prayer so he could be the newest member of the church. Kelly did the confirmation and gave Mark a beautiful blessing. It was yet another reminder of what a wonderful man I married and another reason I have to be grateful.


We had so many family and friends attend, which helped make everything all the more memorable. How blessed we are to live near so many incredible people who have supported and helped us through the years. Primary teachers, home teachers, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, neighbors and friends all have played a part in Mark's life and it was amazing as I took a minute yesterday and reflected on the impact all these people have had in our lives. As a parent, you realize quickly that you can't do it alone, and that every positive experience and influence plays such a valuable role.


So thank you to everyone who came and helped make such a wonderful day memorable.

Chaotic Blessings....

Yesterday was a wild day here in the Christensen household. I don't know what got into everyone but something happened overnight to insight craziness from the moment morning arrived(except me of course--someone had to be sane around here!). Yesterday morning we attended our old West Jordan ward to hear the daughter of wonderful friends of ours speak as she is getting ready to go on a mission. Early that morning I heard all sorts of commotion downstairs and went to investigate ready to send the rioters to their room. When I turned the corner, I saw my 41 year old husband causing all the ruckus. Apparently the kids weren't moving as quickly as Kelly would like so he found Mark's huge water gun and decided some surprise attacks might be good motivation. This led to the running, screaming, laughing and wet scene I found myself in first thing in the morning. (Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person?)

Well later that day Mark's new Nerf ball gun (whose idea was it to give him guns for his birthday?) was in use and lots more dodging, hiding, and screaming with Kelly front and center with a guilty smile and a shrug. (I am beginning to think his calling with the 14 -15 year old teenage boys is rubbing off on him). Soon rubber band wars ensued followed by more water guns. I kept trying to tell everyone that Sunday was called a day of rest for a reason. No where in the scriptures does it talk about weapons of play being used on a Sunday! I'm sure Heavenly Father didn't have such shenanigans going on during the seventh day! :)

As the evening ended, and things quieted down I realized that although the day was totally chaotic, I needed to be grateful for noise...all too soon it will be quiet around here. What a lonely life I would lead without my fun loving husband and my children. So although I would appreciate some peaceful times on Sunday with the family, I will have to learn that it's ok for a few moments every once in awhile to forget about being a mom, and become like a little child....armed with a squirt gun.

Love this Book!

I haven't made a book recommendation yet on this blog, so here goes. I recently aquired this book by Kerry Blair. She is an LDS author and this is her first work of non fiction, at least that I'm aware of. She is very witty, and I loved this book, because it helped me appreciate all that I have, and not feel guilty if I'm not perfect or even close.

An excerpt that I particularly liked was this:

"As Latter-day Saints we are practically obsessed with anxiously engaging ourselves in good causes. Maybe it's subliminal. Glancing through the hymnal last Sunday, I noted that as sisters in Zion, we who are called to serve are all enlisted to go marching, marching forward because the world has need of willing men to all press on scattering sunshine. We wonder if we have done any good in the world today, because we have been given much and want to do what is right, keep the commandments, press forward with the Saints, and put our shoulders to the wheel going where He wants us to go. However, as the morning breaks high on the mountain top, truth reflects upon our senses, and while we still believe that sweet is the work, we also realize that we have work enough to do ere the sun goes down. And thus we ask Thee ere we part, where can we turn for peace?"

I loved this book, it made me smile, appreciate, reflect and even get a bit teary (I know that's hard to imagine!) Most of all, it uplifted me, and made me feel that despite all my faults that continually scream out to me (and sometimes to those around me), and the hard trials that fall in my path...that I have a great life in which my Heavenly Father continues to bless me. and as long as I have have more steps forward than backward, everything will be ok.

Happy Birthday Mark!

Yesterday was Mark's 8th birthday! I can't believe my baby is that old, where has the time gone? I love you Mark, your soft voice, kind heart, generous hugs and quiet faith have brought so much joy into our home. I am so excited for you to get baptized in a couple weeks, what a great day that will be. Thank you for always thinking of others and finding ways to share and make them happy before yourself. I hope you had a great birthday!

Yesterday I checked Mark out from school during lunch and we went to his favorite place Subway for lunch. Then as a family we went out to Brick Oven for dinner, and then came back to cupcakes, presents and ice cream here at home. He is having a birthday party with a few friends and cousins on Thursday.

The Car Wash

Let me preface this by saying that I am an intelligent woman, a college graduate, full of common sense and great intuitive powers all of which allows me to function pretty well in most situations. However a couple days ago, all the above qualifications failed to give me the needed intellectual understanding and basic skills required to operate a simple car wash.

Typically I pay the extra dollar or two and drive through a car wash. You know the kind when all you have to do is drive forward until the red light goes on, put the car in park and watch while wonderful machinery works magic with soap, water, wax and the biggest blow dryer the world has ever produced ( I need one for my bathroom, I could dry my hair in record time!). I can listen to tunes on the radio, text on my phone, read a book or close my eyes for a brief rest, all while staying dry and safe. It's a great invention and luxury I afford myself every once in awhile when I can no longer see the color of my car and that is saying something considering it is the color of dirt!

However, two days ago, due to my impatience at waiting in a long line, and not having a shower that day I decided to attempt the manual car wash in the next bay. I mean how hard can it be right? I swiped my card and realized that my time was starting and I was paying for standing there. I quickly checked out the car wash panel and was stunned at how many choices were listed-- none of which were in numbered steps. Do I pre-wash or use the brush....what is tri color conditioning and where does that fit in? There is a high power rinse and a spot free one? Why oh why did I not pay attention during my platinum wash. Being ever mindful that I was paying for my ineptitude and indecisive behavior I quickly switched the dial to the soapy brush...after multiple failed attempts at trying to drag the very unmanuverable hose around the car I opted for some spray soap. After the car was sufficiently bubbled, I turned it to my rinse option. I was doubting the abilities of the so called high power rinse when I realized there was a trigger on the wand. Imagine my astonishment upon pulling said trigger, the wand developed a mind of it's own and promptly flew out of my hand completely dousing me but missing the car entirely before falling to the ground and disengaging. (At this point I am secretly looking for hidden camera's, worrying I'm going to be the star of some reality tv show or be the next you tube phenomenon). Finally I figured out how to wash off the soap, at least most of it, but the rest of the selections I made after that are all a bit blurry.

All I know is the end result was disastrous! I spent more on this wash than the luxury one, my car had some sticky residue all over it that dried into some dirty looking film before I got home. I pulled into my driveway exhausted and dirty, with my car not much better off.