Let me preface this by saying that I am an intelligent woman, a college graduate, full of common sense and great intuitive powers all of which allows me to function pretty well in most situations. However a couple days ago, all the above qualifications failed to give me the needed intellectual understanding and basic skills required to operate a simple car wash.
Typically I pay the extra dollar or two and drive through a car wash. You know the kind when all you have to do is drive forward until the red light goes on, put the car in park and watch while wonderful machinery works magic with soap, water, wax and the biggest blow dryer the world has ever produced ( I need one for my bathroom, I could dry my hair in record time!). I can listen to tunes on the radio, text on my phone, read a book or close my eyes for a brief rest, all while staying dry and safe. It's a great invention and luxury I afford myself every once in awhile when I can no longer see the color of my car and that is saying something considering it is the color of dirt!
However, two days ago, due to my impatience at waiting in a long line, and not having a shower that day I decided to attempt the manual car wash in the next bay. I mean how hard can it be right? I swiped my card and realized that my time was starting and I was paying for standing there. I quickly checked out the car wash panel and was stunned at how many choices were listed-- none of which were in numbered steps. Do I pre-wash or use the brush....what is tri color conditioning and where does that fit in? There is a high power rinse and a spot free one? Why oh why did I not pay attention during my platinum wash. Being ever mindful that I was paying for my ineptitude and indecisive behavior I quickly switched the dial to the soapy brush...after multiple failed attempts at trying to drag the very unmanuverable hose around the car I opted for some spray soap. After the car was sufficiently bubbled, I turned it to my rinse option. I was doubting the abilities of the so called high power rinse when I realized there was a trigger on the wand. Imagine my astonishment upon pulling said trigger, the wand developed a mind of it's own and promptly flew out of my hand completely dousing me but missing the car entirely before falling to the ground and disengaging. (At this point I am secretly looking for hidden camera's, worrying I'm going to be the star of some reality tv show or be the next you tube phenomenon). Finally I figured out how to wash off the soap, at least most of it, but the rest of the selections I made after that are all a bit blurry.
All I know is the end result was disastrous! I spent more on this wash than the luxury one, my car had some sticky residue all over it that dried into some dirty looking film before I got home. I pulled into my driveway exhausted and dirty, with my car not much better off.
Typically I pay the extra dollar or two and drive through a car wash. You know the kind when all you have to do is drive forward until the red light goes on, put the car in park and watch while wonderful machinery works magic with soap, water, wax and the biggest blow dryer the world has ever produced ( I need one for my bathroom, I could dry my hair in record time!). I can listen to tunes on the radio, text on my phone, read a book or close my eyes for a brief rest, all while staying dry and safe. It's a great invention and luxury I afford myself every once in awhile when I can no longer see the color of my car and that is saying something considering it is the color of dirt!
However, two days ago, due to my impatience at waiting in a long line, and not having a shower that day I decided to attempt the manual car wash in the next bay. I mean how hard can it be right? I swiped my card and realized that my time was starting and I was paying for standing there. I quickly checked out the car wash panel and was stunned at how many choices were listed-- none of which were in numbered steps. Do I pre-wash or use the brush....what is tri color conditioning and where does that fit in? There is a high power rinse and a spot free one? Why oh why did I not pay attention during my platinum wash. Being ever mindful that I was paying for my ineptitude and indecisive behavior I quickly switched the dial to the soapy brush...after multiple failed attempts at trying to drag the very unmanuverable hose around the car I opted for some spray soap. After the car was sufficiently bubbled, I turned it to my rinse option. I was doubting the abilities of the so called high power rinse when I realized there was a trigger on the wand. Imagine my astonishment upon pulling said trigger, the wand developed a mind of it's own and promptly flew out of my hand completely dousing me but missing the car entirely before falling to the ground and disengaging. (At this point I am secretly looking for hidden camera's, worrying I'm going to be the star of some reality tv show or be the next you tube phenomenon). Finally I figured out how to wash off the soap, at least most of it, but the rest of the selections I made after that are all a bit blurry.
All I know is the end result was disastrous! I spent more on this wash than the luxury one, my car had some sticky residue all over it that dried into some dirty looking film before I got home. I pulled into my driveway exhausted and dirty, with my car not much better off.
7 comments:
Thanks for the belly chuckle, I needed one today. I know that's rude because it was at your expense, but thanks!
That is hilarious. You definitely are good at writing. I needed to laugh. Can't wait to see you guys in a couple days.
I love that thoughts of being on a hidden camera ran through your mind! I love it! Thanks for the laugh!
you just crack me up. i've already heard that story but i still was laughing as i read it. we neet to go for frosty's soon. :)
Hee hee hee....Kinda scary tho'. I would be afraid the wand would have hit me in the head.
For this very reason, I gave up on trying to save a buck at the manual car wash a long time ago! You truely described it well.
I have problems with automatic carwashes--I cannot get my tires in the right place. I have had episode after episode of high centering my car over the tire placement things. Maybe we should switch....
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