When life throws you a curve ball don't forget to duck!

Two weeks ago yesterday, I was decorating my house for fall, enjoying the routine of my children being back in school and thinking that everything was good. I happened to have a routine lab appointment for annual blood tests to check thyroid levels. The appointment was inadvertently booked with the doctor instead of just the lab tech. My doctor found a nodule on my thyroid, and sent me in for an ultrasound. A week later I was having needle biopsies on the three nodules the ultrasound found and on Tuesday night I received a phone call from my doctor with the diagnosis of thyroid cancer.

Talk about a whirlwind couple of weeks. Every step along the way I was reassured that the vast majority of these nodules are benign (90%) and that I had no risk factors for this type of cancer--so I was unprepared for the words the doctor spoke to me over the phone. All I heard was cancer and every other logical thought disappeared.

I had done some reading previously and I was aware of the stats on this type of cancer. I read it was highly curable, slow growing and if you had to have cancer, this wasn't a bad one to have. I have several friends who have been through this and I knew that years out from it they were fine and healthy. I also realized that there were so many people facing life threatening and crisis situations and compared to their struggles this was really insignificant. However, at that moment, sitting on the floor of my closet with the phone in my hand sobbing, the logical side of my brain was being left in the dust as the emotional side took over at breakneck speed. I was so sure this would be nothing... so sure in fact that I had not told my children of the earlier tests.

Kelly came home quickly and found me in my closet seclusion and held me while I cried over and over, "this was supposed to be nothing!" We had to quickly regroup because Mark's first pack meeting was in an hour and he was receiving an award, and Josh's court of honor followed that. After a quick but heart felt prayer, the miracle of make up and the comforting hand of my husband we were out the door and off to the church. An hour and a half later we held a family meeting and told the kids, reassuring them that despite the emotion, this was going to be fine. The tears were not proof of something terrible, but just surprise and concern. We knelt together as a family and Ryan gave an incredibly profound and moving prayer that I will always remember. A feeling of peace filled the room, and evidence of my many blessings began to fill my mind which evidence has only increased in the last few days.

I made a call to my sisters house to see if her husband could assist Kelly in giving me a blessing and before she even answered the phone, he saw our name on the caller ID and walked out the door, knowing the purpose of the call. How grateful I am for the priesthood and for those who honor it and can humbly and worthily step in to speak for God on this earth.

Another call went to Kelly's brother who is a doctor and one of the most compassionate people I know. He answered my questions, put up with my tears and got me an appointment with a ENT oncologist that is an expert in this area. The doctor had a cancellation and I was able to meet with him yesterday. He was so encouraging and immediately I knew I was in the best hands. He will be able to see me through everything and do my follow up visits for years to come. Having that continuity of care is such a relief to Kelly and I. The surgery to remove my thyroid and possibly lymph nodes is set for October 8th and is a relatively low risk surgery. I will only be in the hospital overnight. As for what is next, that will be determined after the surgery and what they find in the lymph nodes...regardless of what that result is, I will be fine.

I have felt the prayers that have been offered on my behalf. What else could explain the hysterics I found myself in two days ago and the peace I feel now. There is no other explanation. I know my Father in Heaven is not only aware of what is going on in my life but has sent a spirit of comfort to my heart, my mind and my home. I have seen His hand in so many ways the last couple of weeks, I am overwhelmed. The tears that fall now are more often than not, tears of gratitude. What a blessing it is to feel gratitude and peace and not sorrow and fear. These peaceful feelings are not coming because I am strong or from anything I do, they are coming from a loving Heavenly Father and an empathetic Savior.

Please forgive the personal post. This is my journal in a lot of ways, and I wanted to put down my feelings. I in no way want to make this seem more significant than it is. So many people deal with incredible things and I know I am fortunate. I wanted to record what has gone on over the past couple weeks so I will always remember that peace can come during trying situations.