I just got done listening to the Sunday morning session of General Conference. The prophet's talk especially touched me. Probably because just recently I am realizing how quickly time passes. President Monson has such a gift for expressing his thoughts so profoundly. I want to reread his talk already. I remember when Ryan, Josh and Cass were babies, and I wished away that time. I wanted them to always be onto the next step. When they were so little I couldn't wait till they could crawl. When they could crawl, I couldn't wait until they could walk and talk. Then I was wishing for t-ball games, dance recitals and kindergarten. I seemed to always look ahead, and not appreciate their accomplishments that were happening right then.
There were a few times when I sat back and realized how quickly time had flown by. I remember sending each one to first grade, and crying as I began to grasp that they would be away from home almost as much as their waking hours at home. I remember before each of them were baptized, wondering where those last 8 innocent years had gone. Knowing that they were getting to an age where they would be responsible for their decisions on a greater level. I remember worrying if had I used my time to the best of my ability. Had I taught them all I could up to that point? I realized that my years of greatest influence on them has passed by so quickly and all too soon other things were going to creep in and fight for importance in their lives.
Finally by the time Mark came along, I had learned a few things. I remember wanting to keep him my baby for as long as I could. In fact I still call him my baby, much to his frustration. I remember not wanting him to crawl or walk too fast. Enjoying every baby talk word that came out of his mouth and purposely holding him back a year from kindergarten as his birthday was on the borderline. By now I have a completely different perspective. I am the mother of two teenage boys and a daughter who has been acting like a teenager for years. My baby is getting so independent and doesn't like his mom around as much. I blink and a school year passes by, and I know that just around the corner I will be sending boys on missions. I remember vividly so many older and wiser people telling me to enjoy the stages of life that I was in, because all too soon they would be gone. As I was knee deep in diapers and temper tantrums, it didn't seem possible. But now, I wish daily for time to stop, and it only goes faster. President Monson's talk brought all these thoughts to the forefront. His statement several times repeated, to find "joy in the journey" touched me. I just bought a sign to hang on my wall earlier this week that says "Blessed is the life that enjoys the journey" So hearing this talk brought all the emotions I've been thinking about recently to the surface.
I don't like change, and resist it at every turn, and now that changes in my children's life are happening at record pace, I am resisting it even more. I learned an important thing today, I recognized I've been obsessing (me obsess? imagine that!) about how time has passed and dreading the future, but not taking the time to enjoy the moment. It's crazy, earlier in life I wished away the seemingly hard times of sleepless nights and constant mischief, and now I'm wishing away the future, willing away the time when this family I have now will change. What I found in common with both of these situations is that I'm still not focusing on the blessings of today. I need to stop worrying about what has passed and what is just around the corner. Apparently I still haven't figured all this out. So for many of you, I'm sure this epiphany I have just had, is something you probably figured out a lot sooner than I did. You are probably all the ones who told me to slow down, and enjoy each stage. But now I'm in a position to tell those of your who who are younger than I am to learn from my mistakes. To listen to me who is definitely older and working on being a little wiser to enjoy your babies, the first words, the sweet kisses, and even the temper tantrums--because soon strong willed opinionated teenagers will emerge thinking they are the wise ones, and all too soon you will have to bribe or tackle your children to get those hugs once given so easily.
There were a few times when I sat back and realized how quickly time had flown by. I remember sending each one to first grade, and crying as I began to grasp that they would be away from home almost as much as their waking hours at home. I remember before each of them were baptized, wondering where those last 8 innocent years had gone. Knowing that they were getting to an age where they would be responsible for their decisions on a greater level. I remember worrying if had I used my time to the best of my ability. Had I taught them all I could up to that point? I realized that my years of greatest influence on them has passed by so quickly and all too soon other things were going to creep in and fight for importance in their lives.
Finally by the time Mark came along, I had learned a few things. I remember wanting to keep him my baby for as long as I could. In fact I still call him my baby, much to his frustration. I remember not wanting him to crawl or walk too fast. Enjoying every baby talk word that came out of his mouth and purposely holding him back a year from kindergarten as his birthday was on the borderline. By now I have a completely different perspective. I am the mother of two teenage boys and a daughter who has been acting like a teenager for years. My baby is getting so independent and doesn't like his mom around as much. I blink and a school year passes by, and I know that just around the corner I will be sending boys on missions. I remember vividly so many older and wiser people telling me to enjoy the stages of life that I was in, because all too soon they would be gone. As I was knee deep in diapers and temper tantrums, it didn't seem possible. But now, I wish daily for time to stop, and it only goes faster. President Monson's talk brought all these thoughts to the forefront. His statement several times repeated, to find "joy in the journey" touched me. I just bought a sign to hang on my wall earlier this week that says "Blessed is the life that enjoys the journey" So hearing this talk brought all the emotions I've been thinking about recently to the surface.
I don't like change, and resist it at every turn, and now that changes in my children's life are happening at record pace, I am resisting it even more. I learned an important thing today, I recognized I've been obsessing (me obsess? imagine that!) about how time has passed and dreading the future, but not taking the time to enjoy the moment. It's crazy, earlier in life I wished away the seemingly hard times of sleepless nights and constant mischief, and now I'm wishing away the future, willing away the time when this family I have now will change. What I found in common with both of these situations is that I'm still not focusing on the blessings of today. I need to stop worrying about what has passed and what is just around the corner. Apparently I still haven't figured all this out. So for many of you, I'm sure this epiphany I have just had, is something you probably figured out a lot sooner than I did. You are probably all the ones who told me to slow down, and enjoy each stage. But now I'm in a position to tell those of your who who are younger than I am to learn from my mistakes. To listen to me who is definitely older and working on being a little wiser to enjoy your babies, the first words, the sweet kisses, and even the temper tantrums--because soon strong willed opinionated teenagers will emerge thinking they are the wise ones, and all too soon you will have to bribe or tackle your children to get those hugs once given so easily.
3 comments:
Beautiful! It is a sign of the last days that our days will be shorter. I think we are there. Not that they are shorter in the literal sense, but that an hour goes by more quickly than it use to...do you know what I mean? I think it is this sign.
Okay, reading your post was the BEST use of my time because you said so many things that I have been thinking. On my blog I think I will just refer everyone to this post! Thanks Val!
Loved it Val. As I am in that toddler stage, and currently battling the siege of the stomach flu as it passes from one person to the next, I most particularly need to take a step back and focus on the joy in little moments. You really ought to write a book, you know. You can call it, "The brain-dead ramblings of a mother of four." I know I would buy a copy.
Post a Comment