need a haircut?

I have a sister who is a year younger than I am. When I was a toddler I had lots of curly hair, she happened to be bald. By the time she was two there was just enough hair on the top of her head to make a little pony tail. I decided to play "barber shop" one day and took some scissors and chopped off her little pony tail, bow and all. That should have been some sign that I should never handle a pair of scissors again. It was not to be. I remember as a preteen trying to cut my own bangs. First one side was too short then the other; before I knew it I had bangs that were a quarter inch long. Ask Kelly about the first time I cut his hair. He ran to a professional afterward and responded to the shocked look of the stylist, "just don't ask".

Well today I decided to tackle some overgrown shrubs and trees in my yard. I grabbed the hand held clippers and started one branch at a time. First was an evergreen tree. I love these trees as they remind me of Christmas all year long. However, this one was a little shaggy and overgrown. I honestly tried to keep it's holiday shape. I started on one side, than slowly moved around the tree. As I stepped back to analyze the results, I realized the symmetry was off. I continued again around the tree and began to have flashbacks of my bangs when I was twelve. Some voice inside my head was saying, "put the clippers down, and step away from the tree." Maybe it was the tree police. I should have listened. As gaps started to appear I began to try to manipulate the branches like I do on my artificial Christmas trees. Nature is not so flexible. I was wondering how to reattach the branches. Aren't there tree surgeons? I was reflecting on the allegory of the olive tree in the scriptures and wondering how the grafting process works. Maybe they make pine colored duct tape?

Needless to say, I will have some explaining to do when Kelly gets home this evening. Although as he's been married to me for the past nineteen years, he will probably just shake his head and say, "I won't even ask." Then he will find all the sharp objects in the house and lock them up in his wood shop.