blind as a bat....

I am blind as a bat, trouble is my other senses don't compensate, so technically, comparing my vision to bats isn't quite correct. I am blinder than a bat. How about that.

I got glasses in the forth grade and my vision has continued to deteriorate. You know you are in trouble when you go to the Opthamologist and they look twice at your prescription. "We don't stock this prescription in your contacts, we will have to order it" and then some fax goes off to somewhere where they keep blinder than a bat contacts. In case you all are wondering, I am not a candidate for Lasik. When I asked if there were any procedures that would restore my sight my doctor said, "science can produce miracles, but it's not that good yet!" Oh isn't he funny!

In college I had a bad eye infection and could only wear glasses for a year. My roomates got a chuckle out of my predicament and when I was sleeping, they would sneak in and take my glasses then set my alarm to go off and stand in the back of the room while I frantically felt all over the nightstand and the floor to find them.

Later that semester we went to do baptisms in the Idaho falls temple. I had to leave my glasses in the locker room and couldn't see the steps on the font. When it was my turn I didn't think I was quite there, took a step into midair and tumbled ungracefully in and made a big splash! I was near the front of the line so about twenty guys and girls from the ward witnessed my demise. The muffled trying to be reverent, giggles echoed through the big room. From that time on, no one bothered to learn my name they would just say, "I know you...you're the girl who fell into the font!"

So this past week as I was getting ready for a church meeting in Salt Lake, I once again was wearing my glasses. I took them off to put on my makeup and misplaced them. I had to have my kids come search for me while I was applying mascara. After poking myself in the eye with the wand, I had a bright red eye to go with my pink shirt and a large waterproof black mark on my face. Perfect. Just perfect.

Tonight as I was out in the rainstorm, I wished for windshield wipers on my glasses and was once again reminded how wonderful perfect eyesight might be. Since that isn't happening anytime soon, I will just have to wait until medical miracles catch up with my eyesight. In the meantime, the bats and I will have to settle for being sightedly challenged.