I have noticed some modes of operation that happen every time I send a child to clean their room unsupervised. It is done with military precision and we call it operation clean room. The way this mission is carried out goes as follows:
Stealth:
First and foremost try to sneak out of mom's radar and leave the vicinity as fast as possible without being detected and sent back.
Counter Measures:
As mom is heading upstairs toward the target, methods of distraction must be employed to detour final destination. "Mom, you look cute today" Mom, what is that outside the window?" "Mom, have I told you what a great mom you are?" And if all that fails there is always the tried and true last resort, "Mom, I have chocolate!"
Grab and Stash:
This method is used when the above counter measures do not work and the countdown is on. Stash anything available into places not readily seen by the naked eye. No nook and cranny should go unutilized. This must be done with the greatest speed and accuracy.
Undercover:
What is the big deal about making a bed anyway, no need to straighten sheets, remove pillows, stuffed animals, toys and yes and even snacks! Just drag the comforter over everything, surely the lumpy exterior will go unnoticed.
Camouflage:
The only thing important is what you see. If your beanbag chair, area rug, dresser, bed or closet can be useful why not make the most of them. As long as x ray vision is not employed safety is insured.
Black Out:
All lights out, (burned out light bulbs work best) blinds pulled, lamps unplugged. Works very well unless mom brings her night vision goggles.
Mine field:
This is what happens when all the above missions fail. Disaster is imminent. Explosions start occurring all over the room as the objects that were stashed, covered and camouflaged suddenly reappear in piles and destruction commences. The question that is most pondered is "how did she know to look there?"
Denial:
When all else fails the innocent look of "I have no idea how that got there!" is employed and when that finally fails--
Go to work!
First and foremost try to sneak out of mom's radar and leave the vicinity as fast as possible without being detected and sent back.
Counter Measures:
As mom is heading upstairs toward the target, methods of distraction must be employed to detour final destination. "Mom, you look cute today" Mom, what is that outside the window?" "Mom, have I told you what a great mom you are?" And if all that fails there is always the tried and true last resort, "Mom, I have chocolate!"
Grab and Stash:
This method is used when the above counter measures do not work and the countdown is on. Stash anything available into places not readily seen by the naked eye. No nook and cranny should go unutilized. This must be done with the greatest speed and accuracy.
Undercover:
What is the big deal about making a bed anyway, no need to straighten sheets, remove pillows, stuffed animals, toys and yes and even snacks! Just drag the comforter over everything, surely the lumpy exterior will go unnoticed.
Camouflage:
The only thing important is what you see. If your beanbag chair, area rug, dresser, bed or closet can be useful why not make the most of them. As long as x ray vision is not employed safety is insured.
Black Out:
All lights out, (burned out light bulbs work best) blinds pulled, lamps unplugged. Works very well unless mom brings her night vision goggles.
Mine field:
This is what happens when all the above missions fail. Disaster is imminent. Explosions start occurring all over the room as the objects that were stashed, covered and camouflaged suddenly reappear in piles and destruction commences. The question that is most pondered is "how did she know to look there?"
Denial:
When all else fails the innocent look of "I have no idea how that got there!" is employed and when that finally fails--
Go to work!
6 comments:
Val, you should write a book!! I'm still laughing! ;-)
Brilliant!
I loved that!!
Great!!! Loved it!
i like you alot. when are we going for frosty's? we should asap!
You are too cute! I'm thinking of sending my kids to your boot camp!
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