Impressions

I often post the silly and the trivial on this site. A lot of it is because I enjoy writing, even though I don't have any deep talent for it and the lighthearted is easier to express than the serious. It is also more forgiving and you don't have to be as honest and vulnerable. I have a wonderful friend who posted a personal poem on her blog that touched me deeply and I wanted to take a minute and write my feelings that this topic brought to mind. Feelings about those who I love the most and as such, those who I can hurt the most with what I say.

To Ryan, my oldest child, although he left the child stage long ago. I am so in awe of you. Your talents and strengths and abilities far surpass mine at such a young age and in many cases even now. You have never acted your age, always years beyond. I come down hard on you so many times because I forget your youth and treat you as an adult when you are striving so hard to become one. I love your scientific mind that absorbs facts like a sponge. I am proud of you and your dedication and hard work in school, with your friends, work and all you do. You will go so far in this life and in the one to come and I need to be better at telling you all the good you do. I love how close you are to your Heavenly Father and your Savior. You are such an example to me and your family. You come across so tough and yet have a tender side that finds such compassion in others.

To Josh, my ever increasing in stature child who lights up my life. I love your sense of humor and how you can make me laugh with just a look or a word. Sometimes I treat life too seriously and you have a way of bringing joy to moments that are too intense. You have the ability to change my perspective instantly. You have so many talents and I admire your engineering mind and the ability you have to make things work and figure things out. You are like your grandpa that way. I love how at ease you are in social situations and the great friends you make at every turn. You have a gift of service and reach out to so many around you without ever being asked. Thank you for having a heart as big as your shoe size.

To Cassie, my sweet and only girl. I love your smile. You can melt hearts with it. I love your talents with younger children, how you reach out to them and entertain them for hours with your time. You make them feel important and I love it when all the little children in the neighborhood, and your little cousins look to you for attention and you give it to them so willingly. I love the girl times we share, I love to shop, do nails and girl talk time with you. You have great leadership talent and I look forward to seeing what good things you can accomplish in your life by your example to those around you. Thank you for being a reminder of how sensitive and fragile feelings can be and teaching me to be aware of what I say and do.

To Mark, my baby and one who keeps growing up despite all my efforts to the contrary. I love your hugs and "love you mom's" They are given so freely and I never want to take them for granted because all to soon, they won't be as available. I love how your face lights up when I come into your classroom at school. I love how you've always been at the stage when mom's are cool and I hope that never changes. You have such an analytical mind and can find order in chaos. You get that from your wonderful father. I even appreciate the stubborn streak you are developing as you search to find your own way in our family. I want you to stay stubborn and unmoved in the good things in this life and no one will be able to sway you. Thank you for always needing me to tuck you in at night.

I have four incredible children and so often as a mom I use my words harshly and quickly. I think wonderful things about these great spirits entrusted to me, but as I reflect on what comes out of my mouth, the negatives often out numbers the positive. In my every seeking quest to teach and improve, I come across cutting and reproving too many times. I am learning that moms have the greatest influence not only to uplift but to tear down and how fragile and nurturing is a child's self worth. My precious children are my greatest treasure and yet so many times I forget to show them. I am working so hard to change this and wanted to take a minute to briefly state and focus on the things I love so much about each of them. I find I brag about them to others more often than I do to them personally.

I am humbled as my calling as a mother, and although I'm constantly in training and ever failing I am grateful that every day I get another chance to be the mother that they deserve. They are my best champions and forgive me so easily. I love them all so much.

Help I need some modivation....

I wonder...

if I suspended a doughnut in front of my treadmill would I walk faster?

if I think positively about exercise, could my mind burn calories?

if surviving teenagers could be classified as a cardio activity.

if chewing cookies instead of inhaling them cancels out the caloric intake?

what would happen if celery tasted like chocolate?

if jackets and other camouflage clothing were invented for this season for a reason?

if a body automatically stores food to build up insulation for the winter?

why bears aren't thin if they hibernate all winter long?

if I spent as much time exercising as I do writing, would I lose weight?

Good News for the Future

Way too many posts lately have been about me! Enough of that! Ryan went to the Sadie Hawkins Dance last Saturday. They had a great group and had a lot of fun. When he got home that night, he told me about all that they had done and one story, in particular, touched me and I wanted to take the time to record it. So many times, we hear about negative events happening around us. We constantly worry about what the future will bring for our families and if our children will be strong enough to deal with what will surround them.

Saturday night the American Fork Marching Band was heading home by bus from an Idaho competition. As I'm sure many of you have heard, one of the buses flipped and there was a fatality and some injuries. News of the accident spread throughout the Pleasant Grove High School dance on Saturday. When Ryan's group heard, they all gathered together and went outside to find a quiet spot to pray for those who were involved in the accident. Little did Ryan know that his cousin was on that bus which flipped, and was fortunate to end up with just bumps and bruises. I was so impressed with Ryan's group and with one of the young women in his group that made the suggestion. I am grateful to know my son has such incredible friends and examples around him and that when something frightening happens, their first instinct is to turn to prayer. I know there might be uncertain times ahead, and sometimes the only stories which get published are about all the evil and negative things in the world. I wanted to take a minute to write about something positive which will never make the news, but which gives me hope that in unsettling times, the young women and men of today are not only prepared to weather the storms but to triumph over them.

WOW!

I am so spoiled! I have had so many people who have sent beautiful flowers, chocolate (totally love that!) dinners, notes, books, gift baskets.....and the list could go on and on. With the exception of the scar and stitches across my neck I would feel like I've been on vacation or that it's Christmas in October. I have not had to cook, clean, or do anything responsible for days (although on my pain meds I doubt I had the ability to do anything responsible anyway!) Kelly has been pampering me and taking care of everything. I love him so much, and couldn't go through this without him. Thanks to my wonderful sisters and cousin, who have brought meals in. I am enjoying the beautiful flower arrangements which brighten my mood everytime I look at them. I am truly overwhelmed and feel very inadequate to receive all this attention. I have been very selfish and on the receiving end of so much lately.

I am doing extremely well. My recovery has gone seamlessly and with the exception of when I glance in the mirror, I sometimes forget I had surgery just a few days ago. I still wish I had all of my energy back, but I am not on any painkillers and am so grateful for that. I go back to my surgeon on Thursday and get the stitches removed and the results of the pathology report. Then it will be meeting with a nuclear medicine doctor and scheduling my radiation. I am so grateful that even though this cancer has spread a bit, it still has an extremely good prognosis. Once I'm done being radioactive, and get my hormone levels regulated, I hope to just have to think about my cancer once a year during routine checkups. I am so fortunate.

So once again, thank all of you for everything! I pray one day I'll be able to return even a small portion of what I've been given.

Valorie's surgery is over. She is tired but recovering overnight at the hospital. She did well with the surgery. It looks like the tumor was malignant and has spread to some of the lymphnodes. Some nodes were removed during the surgery. She will need to have additional therapy to treat the spread. The doctor indicates that the prognosis is still good and is very curable. We are fortunate that she is doing well. Kelly

Gratitude

I am going to be heading out the door in a few minutes to go to the hospital for my surgery. I just wanted to take a few moments and say thank you. I was making a list of those I am going to send thank you cards to, and the list is over a page long. I have tears in my eyes, but they aren't from worry about today, they are truly tears of gratitude. I have so many incredible friends and family who have been there for me the past few weeks. Every time I seemed to struggle I would get a phone call, text or email from someone. The last few days have been the most stressful, and I can't tell you how much I have appreciated everyone who remembered that my surgery was coming and have called, dropped things off, sent me things in the mail or prayed for me and my family. I have felt the weight of this little speed bump in my life lifted so much. I have such a feeling of peace today and I know it is coming from my Heavenly Father, and all those who have prayed for me. I truly am so blessed and in awe of all that I have been given. I am so undeserving of all of these wonderful blessings, and yet so grateful. Thank you all again.

I will have Kelly post later today about the surgery and how things went.

What to blame?

Who or what can I lay blame to for losing my mind? I am not sure if it is because I have teenagers and they destroy brain cells, if it's old age, lack of sleep or it's just built into my genetic code but one thing is for sure, my mind is abandoning me at an every increasing pace. Here are just a few things I've been noticing:

I put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge (I only used to do this when I was pregnant, and no this isn't an announcement)

I drive on auto pilot and if I'm not concentrating on my destination, I will either end up in a school or Walmart parking lot. Not great if you are late for a doctor's appointment in Provo.

I have a purpose to go into a a certain room in my house and yet when I get there I have no idea why I am there to begin with.

One time I locked myself out of the house and had to call one of my children for the garage code.

And today, the newest item I can add to my list is that I shipped a package to myself. It was supposed to go to my sister in Las Vegas and instead I put her address as the return one and sent it to me. It arrived today! The sad part in this whole story is that I didn't realize it was the same package I had mailed until I opened it to see the contents!

If anyone has a solution to my situation, I am open to it. All of you are so on top of everything you should be able to give me lots of advice. Unfortunately I might forget it once you say it especially if I'm sitting in a Walmart parking lot.

Soccer Season

Well the 2009 season of soccer is finished. Mark and Cassidy both played and had a great time. I enjoyed watching them each play. Mark's team was so cute to see. What they didn't have in skill they made up for in enthusiasm. My favorite game was when they were playing a really good team that kept scoring on them. It was like 15-0. Towards the end of the game Mark's team finally had a score on the board....it just happened to have been made by an opposing team member when he got confused which goal was his. Mark's team didn't care how it got scored, they cheered, gave each other high fives; you would have thought they won a championship. Every time I see a picture of him playing soccer, I will remember that game, and the joy that came not from winning, but just in playing the game. (These pictures were great action shots taken by Kelly)

Cassidy had a great year. Their team made it all the way through the championships and lost in a tie breaker taking second place. They worked hard all throughout the season and also had trouble scoring. They were great at defense, but had trouble getting that ball into the net. They practiced each week for three hours and didn't give up. They finally found their stride as the playoffs started. She was so fun to watch, she never missed a practice and played hard in each game. Way to go Cass!! She even put up with her mom running down the sideline cheering like a maniac. Unfortunately we had technical difficulties on her game pictures, they were erased from the camera before they were uploaded. I will post her team one when we get it.

When life throws you a curve ball don't forget to duck!

Two weeks ago yesterday, I was decorating my house for fall, enjoying the routine of my children being back in school and thinking that everything was good. I happened to have a routine lab appointment for annual blood tests to check thyroid levels. The appointment was inadvertently booked with the doctor instead of just the lab tech. My doctor found a nodule on my thyroid, and sent me in for an ultrasound. A week later I was having needle biopsies on the three nodules the ultrasound found and on Tuesday night I received a phone call from my doctor with the diagnosis of thyroid cancer.

Talk about a whirlwind couple of weeks. Every step along the way I was reassured that the vast majority of these nodules are benign (90%) and that I had no risk factors for this type of cancer--so I was unprepared for the words the doctor spoke to me over the phone. All I heard was cancer and every other logical thought disappeared.

I had done some reading previously and I was aware of the stats on this type of cancer. I read it was highly curable, slow growing and if you had to have cancer, this wasn't a bad one to have. I have several friends who have been through this and I knew that years out from it they were fine and healthy. I also realized that there were so many people facing life threatening and crisis situations and compared to their struggles this was really insignificant. However, at that moment, sitting on the floor of my closet with the phone in my hand sobbing, the logical side of my brain was being left in the dust as the emotional side took over at breakneck speed. I was so sure this would be nothing... so sure in fact that I had not told my children of the earlier tests.

Kelly came home quickly and found me in my closet seclusion and held me while I cried over and over, "this was supposed to be nothing!" We had to quickly regroup because Mark's first pack meeting was in an hour and he was receiving an award, and Josh's court of honor followed that. After a quick but heart felt prayer, the miracle of make up and the comforting hand of my husband we were out the door and off to the church. An hour and a half later we held a family meeting and told the kids, reassuring them that despite the emotion, this was going to be fine. The tears were not proof of something terrible, but just surprise and concern. We knelt together as a family and Ryan gave an incredibly profound and moving prayer that I will always remember. A feeling of peace filled the room, and evidence of my many blessings began to fill my mind which evidence has only increased in the last few days.

I made a call to my sisters house to see if her husband could assist Kelly in giving me a blessing and before she even answered the phone, he saw our name on the caller ID and walked out the door, knowing the purpose of the call. How grateful I am for the priesthood and for those who honor it and can humbly and worthily step in to speak for God on this earth.

Another call went to Kelly's brother who is a doctor and one of the most compassionate people I know. He answered my questions, put up with my tears and got me an appointment with a ENT oncologist that is an expert in this area. The doctor had a cancellation and I was able to meet with him yesterday. He was so encouraging and immediately I knew I was in the best hands. He will be able to see me through everything and do my follow up visits for years to come. Having that continuity of care is such a relief to Kelly and I. The surgery to remove my thyroid and possibly lymph nodes is set for October 8th and is a relatively low risk surgery. I will only be in the hospital overnight. As for what is next, that will be determined after the surgery and what they find in the lymph nodes...regardless of what that result is, I will be fine.

I have felt the prayers that have been offered on my behalf. What else could explain the hysterics I found myself in two days ago and the peace I feel now. There is no other explanation. I know my Father in Heaven is not only aware of what is going on in my life but has sent a spirit of comfort to my heart, my mind and my home. I have seen His hand in so many ways the last couple of weeks, I am overwhelmed. The tears that fall now are more often than not, tears of gratitude. What a blessing it is to feel gratitude and peace and not sorrow and fear. These peaceful feelings are not coming because I am strong or from anything I do, they are coming from a loving Heavenly Father and an empathetic Savior.

Please forgive the personal post. This is my journal in a lot of ways, and I wanted to put down my feelings. I in no way want to make this seem more significant than it is. So many people deal with incredible things and I know I am fortunate. I wanted to record what has gone on over the past couple weeks so I will always remember that peace can come during trying situations.

Scouts

Tuesday night was a night full of scouting. Mark is now a cub scout and had his first pack meeting where he received his Bobcat award. I don't know that there was ever a boy so excited as he was. He looked so grown up in his uniform and I was proud to have yet another mother's pin on my ribbon. I am getting quite a collection!


Josh had a Court of Honor also on Tuesday night. He received 8 more merit badges. Earning his silver palm. I am glad he continues to work hard on merit badges even though he has received his Eagle. He wants to earn all 120 before he is 18 and if he puts his mind to something it typically happens.

The Hostage Negotiation

I have had one of those days recently when I feel part mom and part hostage negotiator. Last Friday Mark notices his new birthday toy in Cassie's bedroom and automatically jumps to the conclusion that she has stolen it. Soon the accusations begin and the words liar and thief echo down the hall. The door slams and severe pounding on the door occurs. Instead of giving the toy back to Mark and saying she didn't know how it got in her room, she takes offense at name calling and unjust accusations and shuts the door, promptly taking the toy hostage. Well Mark with growing certainty that this action is proof of guilt, decides to take matters into his own hands and begins to push open and insert his foot into the door to gain entry. Upon reaching the scene, I somewhat calmly asked Cass to return the toy at which point she remarks that I never take her side and dissolves in tears. She promptly thows the toy out into the hall, breaking it and slams the door to illustrate the injustice of the whole situation. Now I have two children in hysterics, one broken toy and a "how do I handle this situation" expression on my face.

They don't teach hostage negotiations in parenting classes. My only previous experience is with the laundry when it takes over the laundry room....usually I have more sucess in that arena; no emotions are involved and usually the only casualties are a few missing socks!

A Wonderful Day!

Yesterday my baby was baptized. Where have the last eight years gone? Moments like this remind me how precious life is and how quickly time passes. I just want it all to come to a screeching halt, but it isn't to be.


It was such a special day yesterday. Mark had asked Ryan to baptize him, and when I saw them both dressed in white I got tears in my eyes. Mark said the prayer before we left for the church and asked Heavenly Father to help Ryan remember the prayer so he could be the newest member of the church. Kelly did the confirmation and gave Mark a beautiful blessing. It was yet another reminder of what a wonderful man I married and another reason I have to be grateful.


We had so many family and friends attend, which helped make everything all the more memorable. How blessed we are to live near so many incredible people who have supported and helped us through the years. Primary teachers, home teachers, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, neighbors and friends all have played a part in Mark's life and it was amazing as I took a minute yesterday and reflected on the impact all these people have had in our lives. As a parent, you realize quickly that you can't do it alone, and that every positive experience and influence plays such a valuable role.


So thank you to everyone who came and helped make such a wonderful day memorable.

Chaotic Blessings....

Yesterday was a wild day here in the Christensen household. I don't know what got into everyone but something happened overnight to insight craziness from the moment morning arrived(except me of course--someone had to be sane around here!). Yesterday morning we attended our old West Jordan ward to hear the daughter of wonderful friends of ours speak as she is getting ready to go on a mission. Early that morning I heard all sorts of commotion downstairs and went to investigate ready to send the rioters to their room. When I turned the corner, I saw my 41 year old husband causing all the ruckus. Apparently the kids weren't moving as quickly as Kelly would like so he found Mark's huge water gun and decided some surprise attacks might be good motivation. This led to the running, screaming, laughing and wet scene I found myself in first thing in the morning. (Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person?)

Well later that day Mark's new Nerf ball gun (whose idea was it to give him guns for his birthday?) was in use and lots more dodging, hiding, and screaming with Kelly front and center with a guilty smile and a shrug. (I am beginning to think his calling with the 14 -15 year old teenage boys is rubbing off on him). Soon rubber band wars ensued followed by more water guns. I kept trying to tell everyone that Sunday was called a day of rest for a reason. No where in the scriptures does it talk about weapons of play being used on a Sunday! I'm sure Heavenly Father didn't have such shenanigans going on during the seventh day! :)

As the evening ended, and things quieted down I realized that although the day was totally chaotic, I needed to be grateful for noise...all too soon it will be quiet around here. What a lonely life I would lead without my fun loving husband and my children. So although I would appreciate some peaceful times on Sunday with the family, I will have to learn that it's ok for a few moments every once in awhile to forget about being a mom, and become like a little child....armed with a squirt gun.

Love this Book!

I haven't made a book recommendation yet on this blog, so here goes. I recently aquired this book by Kerry Blair. She is an LDS author and this is her first work of non fiction, at least that I'm aware of. She is very witty, and I loved this book, because it helped me appreciate all that I have, and not feel guilty if I'm not perfect or even close.

An excerpt that I particularly liked was this:

"As Latter-day Saints we are practically obsessed with anxiously engaging ourselves in good causes. Maybe it's subliminal. Glancing through the hymnal last Sunday, I noted that as sisters in Zion, we who are called to serve are all enlisted to go marching, marching forward because the world has need of willing men to all press on scattering sunshine. We wonder if we have done any good in the world today, because we have been given much and want to do what is right, keep the commandments, press forward with the Saints, and put our shoulders to the wheel going where He wants us to go. However, as the morning breaks high on the mountain top, truth reflects upon our senses, and while we still believe that sweet is the work, we also realize that we have work enough to do ere the sun goes down. And thus we ask Thee ere we part, where can we turn for peace?"

I loved this book, it made me smile, appreciate, reflect and even get a bit teary (I know that's hard to imagine!) Most of all, it uplifted me, and made me feel that despite all my faults that continually scream out to me (and sometimes to those around me), and the hard trials that fall in my path...that I have a great life in which my Heavenly Father continues to bless me. and as long as I have have more steps forward than backward, everything will be ok.

Happy Birthday Mark!

Yesterday was Mark's 8th birthday! I can't believe my baby is that old, where has the time gone? I love you Mark, your soft voice, kind heart, generous hugs and quiet faith have brought so much joy into our home. I am so excited for you to get baptized in a couple weeks, what a great day that will be. Thank you for always thinking of others and finding ways to share and make them happy before yourself. I hope you had a great birthday!

Yesterday I checked Mark out from school during lunch and we went to his favorite place Subway for lunch. Then as a family we went out to Brick Oven for dinner, and then came back to cupcakes, presents and ice cream here at home. He is having a birthday party with a few friends and cousins on Thursday.

The Car Wash

Let me preface this by saying that I am an intelligent woman, a college graduate, full of common sense and great intuitive powers all of which allows me to function pretty well in most situations. However a couple days ago, all the above qualifications failed to give me the needed intellectual understanding and basic skills required to operate a simple car wash.

Typically I pay the extra dollar or two and drive through a car wash. You know the kind when all you have to do is drive forward until the red light goes on, put the car in park and watch while wonderful machinery works magic with soap, water, wax and the biggest blow dryer the world has ever produced ( I need one for my bathroom, I could dry my hair in record time!). I can listen to tunes on the radio, text on my phone, read a book or close my eyes for a brief rest, all while staying dry and safe. It's a great invention and luxury I afford myself every once in awhile when I can no longer see the color of my car and that is saying something considering it is the color of dirt!

However, two days ago, due to my impatience at waiting in a long line, and not having a shower that day I decided to attempt the manual car wash in the next bay. I mean how hard can it be right? I swiped my card and realized that my time was starting and I was paying for standing there. I quickly checked out the car wash panel and was stunned at how many choices were listed-- none of which were in numbered steps. Do I pre-wash or use the brush....what is tri color conditioning and where does that fit in? There is a high power rinse and a spot free one? Why oh why did I not pay attention during my platinum wash. Being ever mindful that I was paying for my ineptitude and indecisive behavior I quickly switched the dial to the soapy brush...after multiple failed attempts at trying to drag the very unmanuverable hose around the car I opted for some spray soap. After the car was sufficiently bubbled, I turned it to my rinse option. I was doubting the abilities of the so called high power rinse when I realized there was a trigger on the wand. Imagine my astonishment upon pulling said trigger, the wand developed a mind of it's own and promptly flew out of my hand completely dousing me but missing the car entirely before falling to the ground and disengaging. (At this point I am secretly looking for hidden camera's, worrying I'm going to be the star of some reality tv show or be the next you tube phenomenon). Finally I figured out how to wash off the soap, at least most of it, but the rest of the selections I made after that are all a bit blurry.

All I know is the end result was disastrous! I spent more on this wash than the luxury one, my car had some sticky residue all over it that dried into some dirty looking film before I got home. I pulled into my driveway exhausted and dirty, with my car not much better off.

Great Idea

Goal: View middle of the night rare meteor shower.

Step 1: Set up Tent

Step 2: Turn off sprinklers

Step 3: Run extension cord for ipod and cell phone charging! (ask Ryan)

Step 4: Bring out blankets and pillows

Step 5: Wait for meteor sightings

Step 6: Keep waiting for meteor sightings

Step 7: Fall asleep while still waiting for meteor sightings....oops!




Better Luck Next Time!!

The last week of summer.....

and mom wants us to do WHAT?






There has to be some law against this!

A calgon moment needed......

Monday marked the return of somewhat of a schedule around here. The last two months have been full of lazy mornings, camps, vacations, trek's and so on. Little things have slid deeply by the wayside. So I decided that Monday (yesterday) we would return to some sort of routine. Now I know all really good mom's out there have continued to have their children, read, practice, clean and so on all summer, and did so with smiles and happy voices, but sadly, I am not one of those.

Seeing the reaction of my children the past two days, you'd think they'd all been confined to prison without the possibility of parole! Life apparently has become unbearable! It's been no picnic for me either. I have tried my best to put a smile on my face and lead by example, unfortunately about an hour or so into the morning, that attitude has gone out the window and I really am starting to resemble a prison warden! I suggested to one of my teenagers as they complained when I turned off the tv, to go read a book and he looked at me as if I was speaking another language. You know a book I said, the rectangular things with great pictures on the front that are full of words you can string together to create an entertaining story? The definition didn't go over so well as was demonstrated by the roll of the eyes.

With the younger two, you'd think that practicing the piano was some sort of medieval form of torture. I was thinking it was time for a new blog entry, so I was going to take some fun pictures of my kids doing things together around the house, call it simple joys or something profound. I went to grab my camera to show Cassie sitting with her little brother on the piano helping him practice....when I returned there was an elbow war going on fighting for space on the bench....upset faces and raised voices and no practicing. Not quite the Kodak moment I was searching for. I should have taken the picture anyway.

Later when the same two children were cleaning their separate rooms, and changing their sheets I heard one of them say....let's wrap up all the stuff on the floor in the sheet and take it down to the basement. I was grateful to overhear this clever little plan, because my basement has become somewhat of a black hole. The kids know that what goes down rarely is found. It was a brilliant plan, one crafted out of the reality that I knew all the clever hiding places in their rooms. It wouldn't surprise me one day to drive by my house and see all sorts of bedroom clutter on the roof...because maybe I wouldn't look there before playtime. :)

So now it's noon, and I'm ready for a long bubble bath, a book and a sound proof room. I, unlike my kids, recognize that to read and escape reality once in awhile is a healthy thing. Especially after all the jobs are done.

series of unfortunate events....

I never thought the title to a series of popular books would be a title of a blog entry, but it seems suitable. This summer has been a continuation of our little medical drama's that have occurred throughout the year. Let me preface this by saying that we in no way have had terrible, life threatening, or chronic illnesses. I know so many people are dealing with incredible health issues, and we have been so blessed in that area. It is just eye opening to know we have had more doctor's office appointment's, x rays and lab tests in the last six months than we have had in the last six years combined!

About seven weeks ago, on the first weekend of summer, Josh broke his ankle. He was just playing in the backyard with his friends, stepped funny on an uneven area of the lawn, and rolled his ankle. Me, the expert of all things medical, relied on recent history of bad sprains we thought were breaks, and decided surely this was one such case. Feeling like we could avoid another unnecessary x ray and costly doctor's visit, I decided to wrap it and treat it at home. Needless to say five days later when he still couldn't put weight on it, I decided more intelligent heads should prevail and carted him off to the doctor. Seeing the proof that my strong, agile 14 year old had indeed fractured his ankle, I felt terrible. No mother of the year awards around here anytime soon. It was tough on Josh, he missed out on a lot of fun times in the water, with his friends, youth activities and family vacations. He just recently has been able to start putting weight on it and is getting along pretty well.

Last week Ryan mentioned in passing a few times, that his ear was bothering him. Since he has been swimming with the PG swim team this summer, Dr. me just assumed it was swimmer's ear and bought some over the counter drops. This weekend the pain drastically increased until it was nearly unbearable, and yesterday once again we were making an urgent care visit to the doctor. Turns out that he ruptured his ear drum and has terrible infections in his middle and outer ear. This week just happens to be his church Moab trip with the Priests, a few days of hiking, rafting, kayaking, biking and so on. This Saturday also happens to be the biggest swim meet of the season. So of all the weeks of the summer to be down with something, this isn't the one he wanted.

It's so hard as a parent to watch your kids in pain, but it is even harder to see them disappointed when they have to miss out on things that are important to them. Life used to be easier when a kiss and a band-aid could make the world better.

Change

That word always brings an emotional response, doesn't it? Such a simple word has powerful implications--it can mean new experiences, adventures, stepping outside comfort zones or it can mean something unknown, worrisome, and terrifying. Usually a combination of both. Life is full of changes, but I've always been a bit change-o-phobic (ok, maybe more than a bit, I don't even like to change brands of toothpaste!) and like to stay in my ruts, especially when my ruts are so fun, enjoyable and predictable.

This past week I was released from my calling working with the young women. To say I was a bit heartsick would be an understatement. I remember when I was released from the Primary and felt very similar, wondering if I could feel the same attachment to teenage girls and nearly 15 months later I can't imagine not having activities with them every week and teaching them on Sunday. I love them as if they were my own. They truly have given me so much joy in my life. I even felt young again, which when you are my age is a great accomplishment!! But changes happen, and I will always go and serve wherever I am called. Kelly gets the privilege of now working in the Young Men's presidency and specifically with the 14 & 15 year olds. He will be wonderful. I told Kelly that I needed a calling where I wouldn't get emotionally involved Perhaps something with building maintenance or the library? Kelly said it wouldn't matter because I'd just find a way to become attached to mops, soap dispensers and copy machines. The greatest blessing from serving in our church, is that your capacity to love just increases. So I'm hoping that will continue to be true as I work with the women in Relief Society.

I am realizing that just because you do something different doesn't mean that you turn off the great feelings and memories from before. I still love the primary children, I can't imagine not loving the youth and now I get the opportunity to love to women in my ward. I haven't served in the Relief Society for many years, so I am very humbled and intimidated. But the new president is such a wonderful woman, and I know I will learn a great deal from her. Life is teaching me that it's important to be grateful for change--because no matter what form it takes, it will always be there and embracing something is always better than dreading it. So even though my old rut was wonderful, I'm hoping this new furrow I'm plowing with hold just as much joy.

SPASH!

We had a fun water party last Thursday with the beehive girls. A giant slip-n-slide, a bunch of large squirt guns and giggly girls and you have all you need for a wet fun time.

Happy Birthday Cassie!

Cassie was born 11 years ago yesterday. Our first and only girl. We were so excited to start buying pink, bows and all things frilly. She has always been a daddy's girl and still calls Kelly "daddy" instead of dad especially when she wants something. When she was younger she had lots of curls and a smile that stopped traffic. She still has the same smile, and spunky sense of humor. She has always been great with younger children, and can entertain them for hours. Still half of the kids that come to our house under 6 ask if they can play with Cassie. She loves to bake and help me in decorating and craft projects. She is a little daredevil and loves roller coasters and doing upside down gymnastics moves. She definitely did not get that from me. However she did inherit a love of shoes, shopping and pedicures so I guess I did contribute something to the gene pool. :) Cass I love you so much and I'm so glad you are part of our family.

Cassie had a fun day yesterday. I took her out to breakfast at Kneaders and Ry took her out for lunch and then our family went out for Dinner at Brick Oven, her favorite place. Then we came back to the house where family and friends came to watch her open presents and eat cake and ice cream. Her dad spent long hours in his workshop over the last week, making the gorgeous mahogany jewelry box for all her cute accessories. It was truly a labor of love, and one she will always treasure. Not many daughters get homemade gifts from their dad. She was so excited and gave her dad a big hug. She helped me decorate her cupcakes and made cute flowers and butterflies. Girls know how to have fun at our house. I hope you had a great day Cass!

Mark is growing up

With Ryan's busy work schedule and Josh's broken ankle we have lost our two biggest lawn care specialists. Mark has decided this last month that he is old enough to handle the yard. Kelly taught him a few weeks ago how to mow the lawn. He had a great time the first time and mowed all of it, taking between 2-3 hours. He later told me it was the "funnest most tiring job there was!" He had a lot of enthusiasm in the beginning but lately it has been waning a bit. Breaks are becoming longer and now he is counting the days until Josh can take back over. We knew it wouldn't last too long, but it has been fun to see him out there growing up so fast.

Marks Family Reunion

The Marks family reunion was held this last week in Island Park Idaho. For an entire week we had fun in the beautiful mountain weather while seeing Yellowstone, playing in the lodges, 4 -wheeling, boating and games. It was a marvelous week. I am the oldest of eight in my family, and all of my siblings except my youngest sister and her family (she just had a baby two weeks ago) were there. We sure missed the Johnson's though.

Ryan, due to our ward Youth Conference Pioneer Trek, was only there the first couple days, as was Kelly. So when you don't see much of them in the pictures that is the reason. My parents have thirty grandchildren, 28 of which were there last week, so it was a great time for cousins to play and have fun.

Island Park is so beautiful. It was a switch to go to a small fishing town of 215. No cell phones, internet access, or malls within miles. :) At first it might not be the definition of vacation, but after a few days of separation anxiety it was great to get a break from typical distractions, and figure out that you can have a good time without that. Although we did have TV's, hot tubs and pool tables so we weren't roughing it that badly. :) I finally found out the way to be in the outdoors without BEING in the outdoors. I enjoyed the comforts of the lodges but loved to walk outside and just be in the mountains.

We were grateful for my sister Rachael, and her husband Jeff. They had the great boat and everyone had a blast doing everything from skiing to tubing. We even finally persuaded Mark to try to go out in a tube if his big brother Josh went with him. Josh was a great trooper. And did what he could on his crutches. He had x rays right before we left and his broken ankle is healing but fragile. He took it easy and is gradually getting better.

I am so grateful to my parents for spending the time and financial means to schedule and organize this great vacation. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with my siblings and their families and make some wonderful memories.